How I Learned to Believe I Could Write
Ever since I could read, storytelling has always fascinated me – leaves of pages full of words with a few sketches in between that hint the author’s imagination, picture books with the most captivating illustrations presented with beautifully written poetic stories, and movies that noticeably touch more people in a generation at the same time not only through the emotions evoked from the visuals but also with how the characters inspire.
With my fascination with words and visuals, I have earlier on realized the impact of storytelling, and I have always dreamed of doing it somehow – whether it was to write a novel, or a children’s book, or have articles be published in print, or create a whole world worthy of the theaters.
But even though I had strong interest in writing when I was young, I was afraid and I lacked the confidence in myself that I could do it, so much so that it came with my willingness to learn more and improve myself. Every time I read or hear a phrase or sentence I perceived as beautifully written, I would write it down on a piece of paper and stick them on to the walls. Our room was once filled with words of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and guests would wonder what it was that I was really studying.
Although my schools had recognized that I could write and these gave me validation somehow, the moment I learned to believe in myself that I could write or at least learn and be better at it was on a much deeper experience.
It was indeed deep like roots because it was my lineage, family history, that helped me further embrace writing. My parents told me that my great grandfather was a journalist in the Philippines. His sons were also writers, and my direct grandfather himself, my father’s father, was a writer who had made important contributions in history. He was Ernesto “Ernie” Flores Jr. He was one of the first non-white writers, he co-founded numerous newspapers, and he notably founded and published himself “The Filipino Press” newspaper in San Diego, California, USA. He was referred to as the Dean of Filipino-American Journalists in San Diego.
Somehow, learning about my family’s history or heritage made me understand my unexplainable connection with storytelling. Despite my doubts in myself, learning about my forefathers made me believe that I can do it too – perhaps because of the wide conception or belief of the phrase – “it is in your blood.”
But to explain this scientifically, studies have shown that more than inheriting the actual aptitude in a skill or talent, what is passed on is the brain wiring, or the predisposition of a person that would affect how they “think and interact with the world.”
More studies might be needed to understand the role that genes play in how we think, act, and interact, but for me personally – the interest in writing and visual storytelling have always been there, deep inside, and although seeing better skills of others in these made me doubt myself, learning the legacy of my grandfathers in the field of writing strengthened my will to learn even though I did not grow up with them around to directly influence, guide or train me.
In some ways, discovering where I came from — and where my family came from — helped me believe in myself and where I could go.
